And what if life wants to show you how beautiful she is every.damn.day… And what if life IS beautiful, in spite of her and because of her..
Ya know how smart we are, how intuitively we are.. does that mean we reside in our hearts or our heads? We listen to the muse from our body as she tugs us over here instead of there or do we allow our headstrong mind to be the ruler of the way. Where does compassion for self fit into this equation OR does it?
I’ve been pondering this notion for many hours this week as a little hurricane arrived and has me wondering “are ya paying attention?!”
Is it an old, worn out pattern we carry that has us on auto pilot doing things for others while no longer serving ourselves?
My favourite book “No Bad Parts” (Richard C Schwartz) on family systems reminds us, as we age, there are many times we are stuck in family roles we’ve had forever because we resort back to the children we all were. Humm.. what did you say there.
Paint a picture in your head of family gatherings, event and remember if you showed up as the adult you ARE or as the sister of – brother of – daughter of (you get it). We often enter the door and our parents – sibs think part of us as the child they grew up with, coupled with the behaviours attached to them. An example: they may not see you as an adult and will presume you will continue to be silent when they make the same comments/jokes about you wearing those leggings … and gosh, look at you still wearing them. YIKES, or you were the planner in the family, and you no longer want to plan gatherings, yet the other members guilt you into doing them and thus causing remorse. You don’t use your voice because you are unsure if you even have a voice or are seen in this familiar setting. Richard reminds us, we can change those patterns if we are willing to do the work. Yes indeed, that damn slow and hard work!
This same way of being can also happen with friends and life, that is, we keep doing the same things without finding joy from them. As a dear soul reminded me this week “then don’t do them any longer” because we no longer are required to be in the martyr club.😂
So what did the hurricane bring with her that has me pondering 🤔
This notion of “unfiltered grief” not knowing when it arrives, how to be ready for it and how to communicate it to folks. Many of us know anger often arrives before the sadness of the tugs from our hearts page of memories. I’m always surprised at her arrival and after the hurricane and exhaustion, often realize our body was triggered by a memory, we probably buried deep down there. And yet, when we are more aware, we understand the dates, the times and the heart speaking sadness its not understood. It’s a weird thing this “thing” called grief isn’t it. Ya know; you love folks, they die, we celebrate them for three days, they are buried and life goes on.. and yet to those of us “deep feelers/ beings”, it’s just not right to wrap their entire existence into three days of “I’m sorry for your loss” is it?
I would love to live in a world where we spoke of death, dying, grieving more often and more openly without shame and embarrassment, especially when we carry grief for a long time. Gosh, I hope when I die and ya put me in my “Palace by the water” I hope ya laugh often at the silliness we shared, the joy in the moments we had and gosh the love for life we shared. Don’t fuss with flowers, I won’t be able to smell them, rather have lunch with a friend and laugh out loud. And maybe..just maybe that was the simple message my anger – sadness wanted me to understand. Life is beautiful and fragile all in the same day sometimes and these effin feelings remind us we are real like that Velveteen Rabbit and damn it all, once you’re real, ya can’t go back (or want to) can you.
Maybe its our hearts tugs reminding us, we have ONE amazing life and as we elevate to the penthouse of life, of living, we may lose people, places and things and that is okay Jose’!
Maybe it’s our loved ones sending messages saying “STOP” doing this and come this way to be happier. Humm Or maybe it’s our bodies saying “I don’t want to carry this burden any longer, please let’s set it aside.”
Today, we can Be Brave to doing ONLY the things that bring us Joy in the Moment. It is NOT our job to heal the world, do things for others, be at everyones beck and call at the expense of negating our own needs/health/life. Thanks again to same dear soul for reminding me, fill my cup first and then, only then when it is filled and I am nurtured enough to go out and help, then I will go out and help my community, others. I’m gonna let that sit for a bit more to understand the notion of allowing life to be as she IS.
And so in closing, may each of us remember “The importance of small steps” ~ Life is meant to be lived, enjoyed, shared and what if taking smaller steps each day is a new way to ALLOW life to be as magical as it is.
Thanks for stopping by and hopefully you leave this page with a nugget to nosh on for yourself. Grief is about love and Live is about sharing that love deep inside each of us..
Now get and ponder away … Feel the Love 💕
2 Replies to “Why not ALLOW Life to Just Be 💕”
So happy you are writing again 🥰 Thank you dear friend for this beautiful reminder. Joyful journeys for us both! Sending love ❤️
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Very profound! Love your thoughtful insights and your way to get to the heart of the matter!