And so today was perhaps not my best day and I have heard this week has not been great for others as well. And if you know me well enough, you will know I look for the lesson, the humm, the opportunity to observe and grown. And safe to say I can now see the lesson I am to learn today is My Heart IS the most Beautiful thing about me.
I am learning Being Authentic, showing up for me and Being Me IS all that is required of me. I am leaning that I want to be an example of what kindness is all about, what being gentle with each other gets us more honey et all and yet others may not see it that way.
I am learning some folks do not understand me and this notion that I want everyone to be successful each and every day. I do not want to challenge folks; make them identical to me; be hurtful with my words; gossip about people’s faults or misgivings or embarrass them when they finally gather enough courage to speak up. No, I want to spread Kindness to all.. this notion of people leaving feeling better about themselves.
I am learning that situations arise for me to show me lessons – 1. Look how far you have come, you no longer react like you did in the past 2. You do know how to communicate better when things go off the track 3. You go away and ponder asking yourself ‘what can I learn from this 4. You appreciate there is a lesson somewhere – history shows me this is true. For me the most mature lesson I am learning is there is NO requirement for me to yell back because I have the tools to tell me I have a mirror and if I am yelling at that person it really is me yelling at myself – yikes I wish I knew that many years ago..
I am learning we are all a work in progress and I embrace this notion of Lifelong Learning that occurs often for me. All of my therapy sessions, coaching sessions, mentor chats have shown me to step back and Breathe. Mixing anger with anger is never the outlet for me to use and it creates more tension than is first presented. I am proud that I can easily identify when the train went off the track in conversation with another person and yet it is not my responsibility to change them, correct them rather it is another teachable moment for me.
And so, I share this with you and you in order for you to understand we each own our emotions whether we realize that or not. I never understood that concept until one day I used my anger in the most inappropriate manner because I did not know how to control my emotions. Now that I am becoming a Champion of my emotions, I embrace a challenge when it shows up. Many lessons occur from these uncomfortable feelings are opportunities for me to heal the past yuck. Perhaps the same is true for you if you take the time to delve deep.
And so the view from my chair provides a few take-aways; that is if you have time to read them.
- Conflict happens everyday and it is not going away – learn to understand it
- Triggers are for both parties – understand yours to better able to communicate with others in a respectful manner
- If a conversations becomes heated, step aside and Just Breath – don’t ‘Poke the Bear
- It is never about the situation at hand, generally there is something 5 – 10 minutes before that possibly was their trigger
- Be calm and bite your tongue if you have to
As always, I appreciate you stopping in to ready my Blog and hopefully you may find a nugget or two that you can carry with you. Life is more magical than we acknowledge, yes indeed it sure is!