Can we even comprehend HOW precious Life is? Can we even imagine not connecting to/with others?
You can put a positive spin on anything if you set your mind to it.
*Disclaimer – I struggled to figure out just how the heck I can write this conversation between two people into my blog. This happens as one is on the path to being a writer. I trust you will get her message in the manner I hope you would… Here it is:
Spending some time with a friend listening to her reciting a conversation she had with her daughter. “She answered me so calmly and so completely sure of herself. That’s the way it is Sophie. Things happen to people in life and you just have to keep getting on with it. It’s still scary mom. Sometimes life is scary, but you can do it.
No I can’t. Yes you can. You are. I had to think about that one. YOU ARE. Nobody comes here to get it right. Boy if I’d known how terrible your dad was going to turn out I might of run the other way down the aisle. Mom, I always marvel at how ‘matter-of-fact’ you can be. But that was my lot, and I got you four kids out of it. I guess that was the point-even though you almost broke me. I always love that story mom. But that’s okay, we survived. And we will keep doing just that. And then some.” We just keep going..
I share the story this week in light of their very dear friend, 26-year-old Richard Anderson III – Trey who loved life, lost the struggle of narcotic addiction through an accidental overdose on August 14th. Growing up Trey and Sophie were best friends, together all the time and yet as so often happens, life gets busy and we forget to check in with friends. Sophie’s mom, my friend struggles to understand the circumstances of his death and now wonders if she shows up for her kids if/when they struggle. How does one console one’s friend whose friend is preparing to bury their 26 year old only child. Allow that to settle for a few seconds, offer a prayer for Frances, her family and to appreciate this life we have today.
This leads to my pondering, to say humm and then to continue to type away my message or the view from my chair this week. Addiction is one hell of a beast and yet we seem to have made it a normal everyday occurrence for those who struggle. No judgement here as I am included in the ‘collective we. How often do we see people struggle to say what they feel because they are afraid of our response? How often do we get busy in our life that we forget to check in with folks, a simple ‘Hey et all? How often do we judge?
As someone who continues to advocate for Mental Health Issues, encourages folks to say their mess, and who embraces those who struggle each day. I guess I do this as a result of being fortunate to see that underneath that roughness; ugliness; is a beautiful soul who wants the same thing you and I want – to Love and Be Loved. That seems like a simple request and yet it is the very thing that causes much pain to many. We struggle to be liked, to be honored, to be seen, to be heard and most of all to be loved. People run from life by grabbing onto the one thing that brings them joy, no matter how it impedes their growth in the world. Do you ever think people who are addicted to drugs, alcohol et all are choosing it. My belief is they are missing one of the 4A’s (previous Blog) and are looking to fill the void in whatever way they can. One thing leads to another and then they cannot get free of the demon that becomes them. I am in a healthier place now and can observe people more and offer them love and compassion with hopes they see their pure potential in life. Funny this phrase “Pure Potential” comes up over and over for me and I am Thankful to the many folks who repeatedly told me I too had Pure Potential if only I believed in myself like they did/saw in me. It reminds me of the ripple effect our words have and the more we share kind words, gestures to those struggling the more possibility there is for us to support someone on their downward spiral in life.
We cannot imagine their struggles and I am in no means a therapist. I do know first-hand struggles people have and often when we reach out our hand to them it means everything in that moment they realize they want help. Being there for someone is a gift and often we are too busy to see the struggles our own ‘folks are having. Life is a gift we often take for granted, yes indeed, we sure do don’t we!
And so my messages from the chair are easy ones this week..
- Less judging, more loving
- I invite you to see through different lens, perhaps ones of compassion for ALL
- I invite you to check in with someone you may not have for a while – a quick hello may just make them smile, make their day and feel like they matter
- Support families who have children that struggle rather than talk behind their back
- Understand that people who struggle ARE struggling, they cannot see that some days. Let’s try to walk in their shoe for a minute to imagine their struggle.
- Read more about mental health issues, drug issues and support agencies who’s job is to advocate for such causes. Ya know I love #SickNotWeak
- Celebrate the lives of those who have passed from overdose – Chris, Trey, Paula, Kate. Timmy and many more. They mattered to many, perhaps they never knew it
- If your child-friend struggles with anxiety, please listen to them, do not be forceful about how you are going to fix them. FYI – They are NOT Broken.
- Life IS a Gift – may you never for it..
- Another reminder – Less judging – more loving
And as always, Thank you for dropping by to read the view from my chair. I appreciate you doing so and I am hopeful you were able to take a nugget from this and make your day that much better.