I speak with many young ladies, be it high school – aged, university or my nieces in their mid-twenties and their friends. Often I hear words from them that make me sad. They struggle with their value, their worth in society, in themselves and many do not Love themselves. My response is YIKES I hear ya and please let me remind you that you matter more than you even know. Your bright light shines so bright that jeez we require sun glasses sometimes (insert eye rolls from them).
My disclaimer – I do not have have daughters; however, I have mothered enough girls in my Greenway Chaplin days to know we gotta instill in young girls the notion they can do whatever the heck they want and ‘You Go Girl’.
Oh My Goodness, the pressure out there to Be Perfect; to have grades that are unattainable, looks like Hollywood stars; thin this, big that, pretty this and pretty that.. REALLY – who the heck cares if you are pretty or not because ‘us older folks will tell ya that those ‘A-Listers in High School who are all that and a bag of chips will in fact have the same struggles as you do when they reach university/college and into adulting in the real world. I’ll tell ya what I would love for each young lady: to feel Loved deep down inside her and to feel – yes there’s those dang emotions again – to feel that she can do and be anything she dreams of being or doing. So often we want them to be what we dreamed; what we wanted to do and I see this many times that parents want to program their daughters to be someone they don’t want to me. Their poor daughters feel compelled to live out someone else’s dream rather than saying ‘can’t I just be me.
Let’s think about this for a moment… no really think about this for a moment… Mental Health issues- illness is an epidemic in youth because of all the pressures that are placed on them. We want them to like what we like, eat what we eat, talk or not talk to people we like or don’t like and the list goes on and on. I chuckle often when mothers speak like their daughters are their best friends. humm.. I understand once they are older and mothers and daughters have more in common to share et all but when they are younger and require our guidance, support, listening ear, etc etc moms – ya gotta get your own friends! Yes indeed, I can hear you now.. But Jaye you have no clue what you are talking about.. Perhaps or perhaps not.. I have eyes to see and ears to hear what is happening out there.
I invite you to try this and then try it again and then perhaps one more time for good luck: When you pick up your daughter, they get in the car, set your phone down and listen .. L I S T E N to them. You may surprise yourself by what they say. Ya gotta know that all they really want is for you to pay attention to them/their chatter/their anxiety and to make no judgement of – to them.
Life is so fragile and short. We live our life like we have another one in the bank. There are no do-overs, no oops, no what was I thinking, no why the heck did I say that in life. However, there are copious minutes in each day to inspire, listen and love your daughters. Summer time IS the best time to create memories that your daughter will carry with them and when they look back on their life as we often do, they will smile knowing YOU made their heart happy doing something as simple as saying Hey You are Amazing. I say this as I reflect on how fast our youth grow up and embark on life figuring out what works; what doesn’t and what sets their souls on fire. I invite you to sit back and be the cheerleader for them.
And so what the heck are my take-aways from this view from my chair..
- Your daughter will be a Second rate you or First rate her.. Allow her to decide
- Please don’t yell at your daughter, they carry this scar forever
- Speak less and Do more because we know girls watch momma bear
- When you Love yourself first, she learns to do this also
- Celebrate her everyday..funny because we should do ALL of these with sons as well
- Put down the phone or tablet when they are speaking to you
- Allow them to stumble and make mistakes, that is how they learn
- Please teach them there is NO Perfect.. that is boring .. Life Lessons arrive as mistakes.
- When they make a mistake, allow them to fix it. Empower them
- It’s your role to make them feel confident to slay any dragon that comes their way
And as always, thanks for dropping by to read by view from that chair. I appreciate it and you. Now get out there and Shine that Bright Light of yours