And so this is where I share those ‘Humm Moments.. the ones where perhaps it really all started and then to sit back and be so proud of where it landed me.
Ya see, we all have a story inside of us; those stories we have carried for so long; some are myths and some we carry because we think they define us and yet we ARE so much more than the stories we tell ourselves.
Yikes, I may have put the cart before the horse or forgot to tell you “Once upon a time” beginning.
Let’s start say.. right about here.. It was 2014, my father had just passed and as the one who was his primary care giver with the help and support of my siblings and mother I knew he wanted me to start to live my life and do the amazing things he knew I could do. Well, what the heck did that mean anyway and was there a book for this!
I pondered a lot and I started to seek out what these words meant – find your Joy in the Moment – Be Who You Want to Be – Do Anything that Brings you Joy.. Oh boy, I sure was getting in over my head because while I may have thought I knew, I never really knew since there were many layers to get to before I could actually hear that “inner child” voice speak to me. Plodding along I went out in the big world to learn, to seek and to understand or so I thought. Life kinda really started to get in the way.
On reflecting on 2015 I see this as the year that my life really started to unfold or was it fall apart or was it being opened and unveiled before my eyes. I experienced the high of the highs and the low of the lows of which I may share in future posts because there are many funny parts. In July of 2015 after understanding that I was not having a nervous breakdown as some folks thought; rather it was my soul – my spirit that was feeling so disconnected to the rest of me. I was just too sad for so long.
After careful discussion with my inner circle, I was able to participate/heal at the Paradise Valley Addiction & Wellness Centre in Squamish BC. (Because of its past association with Chopra Centre co-founder “David Simon who approached life from a place of pure potentiality and unlimited possibilities. His wisdom, courage, and love continues to inspire all” it is called the Chopra Wellness Centre. I like to refer to it as its former name). While chatting to the intake worker Jeff, he reminded me I was not broken and I would be fine; all I required was a bit of realignment with my soul. I initially thought 7 days would be enough time and as I pondered more I realized I had one shot at this and signed up for the Cadillac version of 28 days of intense awakening. Yikes .. what the heck had ya done girl…
When I arrived and I saw the David Simon “Welcome Home” sign beside the front door I immediately knew I had done the correct thing and my fears left. I think for me the other piece it felt like I was in a save place to Just Be and the amazing lady who picked me up at my motel assured me that I was going to be okay. And so ‘My Wellness Walk began in such a beautiful setting and I was open to allow whatever in to come in. A funny story that I have shared many times, I cried the entire 28 days; the first 14 because I was so sad the last 14 days because I was so happy. I learned tips, tricks, tools for my toolkit and life lessons while there that even today I continue to reflect on the kindness everyone showed me while there. Oh yes indeed we had characters there: we shared, we laughed, we had gratitude circle each night and we worked HARD on ourselves to delve deep inside to understand that all we are is Love and for some reason along the way we forgot that. We received therapy, massages, healing healthy Ayurveda meals, nature walks, spent time by the water and were allowed to Just Be. It was not like chill’n at a 5 Star hotel- retreat -spa but rather an opportunity to work on our addictions or disconnections from this thing called Life. Here is where I was reminded how Beautiful and full of Love my soul was – is.
And so the one thing we fail to understand when we return home is this: We have been on an intense healing path and have learned many new tricks, tools et all and we forget that our loved ones, our tribe, our workplace have not been able to experience these same experiences – lessons. This requires a bit of a juggling act of trying to explain just what the heck did you do for 28 days, why did you do it and really why are you not like the person who left 28 days ago. AND this my friends has been the Lesson since returning for me.
Ya see for the past two years I have learned so much about me and about everyone else that I am now reaping what I have sown. I cannot believe how beautiful life is; the little things that are happening have more impact than I ever knew, my creative side is bursting and ya gotta know that for me the other lesson is realizing that 10% of the people Love me and 90% are just curious. If folks want to be in my life they will show up and if their life is too busy then so-be-it. I have done nothing to them nor they to me; life gets busy and people move on. I no longer am required to speak rather to show and I watch what others do rather than what they say because as that old line says “actions speak louder than words ever will.” I understand in order to grow I have taken the lessons people have given me who have graced my life for the time they were a part of it and then to share those lessons, to be a ripple whereby my actions n words have stayed with someone because of the kindness I have shown/given them. Yes indeed, I am filled with intense gratitude for many moments I carry in my little happy heart for the beautiful souls and chance meetings I have experienced. Look for a future post about “My Happy Heart”
And so what do I want you to take away from this.. simple things like
- Just Be You and allow others to Be themselves –
- Speak Less and Act More –
- Show up to Life and Love it each Day –
- Believe that the Universe has your Back – because it does –
- Never be Afraid to be Vulnerable –
- Watch your Words – they hurt, they damage, yet they also love and inspire –
- Be Kind because we all want to know we Matter – we do ya know –
- Try not to Judge – we all have one bad moment we wish we could take back –
- Lead in Love rather then in Fear – Love wins always – yes indeed it does –
- You have NO Idea How Bright your Light Shines — if only you saw it
Until next time, I invite you to share your magic with someone today..